Suzi, 20, Student, Psychology, Friends, Flatmates, Family, Love, Hate, Hurt, Heartbreak, Thinking, Beauty, Music, Art, Photos, Work, Banter, Time, Skiving, Rowing, Guys, Points, Diet Coke, Phone, Facebook, Tumblr, Uni, Rants, Drink, Memories... Life.
I had that moment last night where you realise you miss someone and it just sends you into a tailspin of self pity and helplessness. There is nothing worse than lying in your bed alone, crying and knowing that nothing is going to change. I feel like my life is just stuck in a loop, like I’m fish in a bowl, everything I do leads me right back to where I started. It’s so frustrating and I’m just so tired of trying to change anything about my life, meet anyone new, do anything different, because I inevitably end up exactly where I was to start with and I hate it. I’m just so tired of being so lonely and tired and afraid….
None of you have any idea what it’s like to be labelled as “that girl that pulled such-and-such” or “that girl who slept with such-and-such”. You don’t know what it’s like to want to lie when someone asks how old you were when you lost your virginity or how many people you’ve slept with. You don’t know what it feels like when someone calls you a whore and pretends it’s a joke when all it makes you think is “is that what you really think of me”. You have no idea what it feels like to be judged on the mistakes you’e made in the pursuit of happiness.